I think it was last week that I lost the backing to my earring.
(I know, I get that all the guys are rolling their eyes right now – but hang on, stick with me – you may have lost yours too!)
The backing was one of those tiny little specs of clear plastic that keeps you from losing that treasured piece of jewelry. Tiny. Did I mention clear, and nearly invisible?
My first thought was, “Great, I‘ve lost my backing, now what? I hope it didn’t roll down the heating vent!”
Immediately I was on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor, looking for this thing; being glad (for once) that I had recently washed the floor (and believe me, it had been a LOOOONG time before that!)
On my hands and knees.
Ha! Funny irony. I said to God, “Well, you’ve got me on my knees, how would you like to speak to me today?!”
He knows my humour, and He has a great sense of humour Himself.
Well, I got the idea that I was supposed to search my heart. While searching for my backing. I was beginning to make an interesting connection.
Searching for my backing.
Here’s one of my lifelong (and actually fairly subtle) scripts that can run in the back of my mind: ‘when it comes down to it, it’s really up to me to figure out my life and make it work –I’m doing this on my own. Underdog. No one’s backing me. Yes, God is there for me, but … what about people. I have a dad who walked out of my life in my early teens … life hasn’t always been handed to me on a silver spoon. I’ve had to work hard and be focused to achieve things that I go after in life.’
(Let me just add, that I am not suggesting this is a healthy script … I’m being honest and sharing a deep spot where God is healing me up!)
On a good day, in a good moment I can assure you that I don’t feel like the world rests on my shoulders, but sometimes in super difficult moments it’s an old narrative I can hear, way back somewhere at the back of my mind. (And yes, I have been working on replacing this with God’s truth!)
So, in a subtle way I’ve sort of believed a lie. In a half-way-kind-of-way I decided as a kid, that in theory I have a backing (God is there for me all the time), but in practice there are times when I have to forge my own way and put my shoulder to the wheel and be my own inspiration and backing.
Here’s the real truth though. There are lots of people in my life who love me. And in a heartbeat, I am pretty sure that if I called on any of those people, they would figure out a way to remind me that they’ve got my back.
So why do I sometimes find that old narrative playing in my head telling me I’ve lost my backing and it’s up to me to figure out the hard stuff in life. Why are there little moments (or big moments?!) where I forget Who I belong to and that the entire universe is not against me?!
Right. I had stopped looking for my earring backing.
Maybe it was because I was so deep in conversation with God. Or maybe it was because I just REALLY couldn’t see that invisible backing!!
I called my 17 and 12 year old to help me. Younger eyes. (Haha, I’ve been wondering if I need bi-focals!)
So my daughter says this profound thing. Mom. Sometimes you just have to lay down on the floor, with your face at ground level, and let the light shine on it in a different way. Look at it from a new angle. And then you see it right away.
Yep. You can picture it. The 3 of us, squashed on the bathroom floor, looking for light shining on this little thing in a new way.
Light shining on something old in a new way.
Let there be Light.
Oh Jesus, would You shine Your Light on these old mindsets of mine, and all the unhelpful past narratives that pull me down. Help me see things in Your Light, from Your perspective and Your angle.
God you are in my corner. You are my backing.
My kids were happy for me that I found that silly little piece of plastic, happy that I found my backing. They went back to whatever they were doing.
I sat on the floor – the moment was a profound reminder that although there are times when I don’t feel like my gifts or dreams are fully understood or backed, it’s there.
My backing might seem invisible, but the hand of God is always there.
Protecting me, helping me move forward. Giving me strength. Invisible? Maybe. Maybe not though.
When I invite His Light to shine on my heart, He can show me where those places are that need His special healing touch and a reminder that His love and purposes are alive and well. Not only on the inside of me, but being demonstrated through others toward me – like my teenage kids who laid on the bathroom floor with me to help me find my nearly invisible backing!
This is our God. He lays on the floor with us, and helps us find our backing. He is our backing. He finds subtle ways and sometimes really obvious ways to demonstrate His love for us.
Here’s how He shines on us and supports us:
Let there be light. [Genesis 1:3 NIV]
Your word is a lamp to walk by, and a light to illumine my path. [Psalm 119:105 NET]
The Lord is my light and salvation – so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? [Psalm 27:1 NLT]
If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight were filling you with light. [Jesus, in Luke 11:36 NLT]
For God, who said “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. [2Corinthians 4:6-7 NLT]
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Saviour, who daily bears our burdens. [Psalms 68:19 NIV]
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? [Romans 8:31 NIV]
So, if you feel like you’ve lost your backing, your support, your dream … or you just need a gentle reminder that you are more valuable than you know … allow my simple story to create a genuine thirst in you to invite the light of God to shine on your life happenings, and show you where He is: loving you and bringing vibrancy into mundane moments in life.
Spend some time today reflecting on how God has shone His light into your life. And if you aren’t sure how to start that dynamic, invite Him in today to shine His light on you and bring His truth and life alive in you!
Copyright (c) 2019 Jennifer Bryant-Choong. All Rights Reserved.
